Getting back to practising meditation (no idea why I stopped doing something so beneficial in the first place), I was sitting outdoors recently, looking at all the trees and the blue sky and focussing on my breathing. I became aware of the pixilation of everything that I have seen my whole life.
It's there for the experience whenever I want to bother noticing it- a very, very fine black and white dotting to everything, seen in light or complete darkness.
Until I was a teen , I assumed that's how everyone saw things and in fact never thought to question it until I mentioned something about it to a friend who had no idea what I was talking about. It was weird describing something that I could see without effort to someone that didn't obviously experience the same thing- like trying to explain any sensation you would take as a given to someone who didn't have that sensation. Of course I went around asking others until I did find someone who seemed just as surprised that this way of seeing things wasn't the norm as I was.
Since then, I have come across a few people over the decades who experience this, but obviously it's not something I think on all the time. As I said, if I don't think about it, I don't really notice it.
But yesterday it was on my mind and I thought I might check the internet to see if there was an actual explanation for it.
I found lots of threads- mostly under 'visual snow' and some under 'pixelated vision'.
The 'visual snow' mostly seemed to come under the category of 'suffering from'. Most people were examining their own health and medical history for the cause- mental and physical. Explanation's of MS, migraines, auto immune problems etc etc came up. I have no doubt what some of these people see is something else entirely or something much worse. For some people their impaired sight is debilitating. My eyesight is perfect by the way.
What I felt sad about was the people in between who saw as I do and had been long worried about themselves (though many had had exhaustive medical tests to prove otherwise)feeling there is something wrong with them.
There are scientific explanations out there, proposing that all life appears pixelated, though it would be too small to see, and there are other people who explain it as a 'gift' of sorts in a spiritual sort of sense.
Seeing the world through my eyes as I do does not make me feel special personally, nor does it make me feel abnormal however I do believe in the connectivity of all things.
As I sat outside looking at everything broken up by the same miniscule pinpricks- flowers, trees, grass, sky, house, me, I couldn't helping thinking it was a wonderful way of being reminded that we are all a part of the universe together and at the most basic level we are made of the same stuff and that there is no obvious beginning or end to anything.
I guess I can choose what I see AND choose how I see that:)
