When we are mindful, each step, each breath, each
observation we take and make can be a meditation that brings us peace and joy
and helps us to make better decisions in our lives. I have certainly found
this to be true.
Ergo, until recently, I thought being in this aware
state for as long as possible was the ultimate condition my mind should be in, and something the Dalai Lama probably did
sleeping.
As much benefit I have enjoyed from even brief periods in
this ‘present’ type of state, I recently had some very telling experience where
being mindful proved detrimental, and being ‘thoughtful’, proved almost useless.
The first was driving a manual car after being many years
behind the wheels of automatics.
I learnt to drive in a manual, and continued to drive one
for the first ten years or so of my driving life so even to this day I remain
one of those stubborn (and perhaps forgetful) individuals who insist manual
driving is superior.
My spouse does not share my nostalgia so automatic has
been our car choice for years.
Recently returned from travels we are car-less. Some kind friends have
given us the temporary use of a vehicle so we can do those sorts of trips you
get lazy about doing on foot or bike. The car happened to be manual and whilst I didn’t quite bunny-hop down the road or stall at the lights, you might say my initial gear changes were enough to warrant neck-braces for my passengers.
As I drove I tried to focus on
smoother gear changes.Being very aware of what I was doing had little
effect.
In the end, I just tried to ignore my husband gripping the dash and
just accepted that I would just get better with time and practice. But
something interesting happened- when at one point I had the radio on and
someone was talking to me, I became aware that I was driving well with gear
changes smooth as you like. It ended up that a lack of present mindedness
(still watching the road of course!) turned out to be a gift: an opportunity for my auto
pilot (who had no doubt be hammering away at the door of my mind for a turn all along)
knew exactly what to do.
I wasn't thinking about driving but neither was I being
present and aware.
On my second day of car borrowing, I was driving home across ten suburbs struggling to recall
the roads I had taken fifteen months before with less traffic. I gave up and figured I could tweak whatever route I chose another time if it proved bad. It wasn’t until I focussed
on driving and listening to music that I came across my old route, bit by bit. I
literally found my hand just going to the indicator at the right time. Once
again I wasn’t thinking about it and I was certainly not practising
mindfulness.
The third experience of this state of mind was returning to
my old job. Anything that I had to do that was technical I struggled to recall
the order of process. I racked my brain for the details with little success and
once again accepted that I would just have to relearn things and be done with it.
It was not until I
was serving customers and chatting, that my fingers automatically touched the keyboard and did what they already
knew. If someone would have asked me what keyboard button did
what, I couldn't have said, but disengaged, my body knew what it was doing; once
again not present, not thinking, but distracted. ‘Muscle memory’ as people call
it, saved the day again.
I thought this was an interesting phenomenon. I have always been
concerned about mindless living and had accepted that attaining a state of
mindfulness was the ultimate way to live.
Nothing I had read promoted a
distracted mind as a good thing. The closest I can think of it being promoted
is the common suggestion that if you are struggling with an idea, to go away
and do something else and the answer may come to you when you have returned-
once again, not mindfulness or focussed thinking, but distraction.
Of course I can see where auto pilot and a lack of presence or
thinking can be a bad thing - staying locked in bad habits, continuing to go to
terrible jobs or staying in a relationship with a person who hurts us, are all
examples.
There are many examples however that I can
give where auto pilot will save your day: when you catch a ball unexpectedly
thrown at you, when you knock over a glass and catch it before it spills over,
retracing a path you have taken, answering a trivia question with an answer
even you were unaware you knew.
As much as I will continue to pursue time each day to be
mindful for the sheer peace and joy it brings, and to also spend time thinking
and learning for the satisfaction that I experience, I will also give a nod to my
inner auto pilot, who I acknowledge now is not a bad entity looking to keep me
from evolving, but is just the spark that keeps my body in motion and in one
piece.
Whether my mind is on ‘Om ’, thinking
about a new story plot and checking the fridge for a likely lunch, if my body
sees it, auto pilot will do its best to stop that thing from falling on my head
and that is a marvellous friend to have on board.
