Soy Chicken Fillets

For a while now I have known that at some point I needed to investigate underwear. 'Investigate?' Sounds like a job for Bazoomba Woman!
Anyway, apparently $2 Best and Less knickers will just not pass muster. Now ladies, you may be very or vaguely aware that there is underwear out there that can enhance your bust,flatten your tummy, slim your thighs, firm your butt and attract Brad Pitt. Well, all but the last are available, made just to help us look more wonderful. I just wonder if they have an entire Elle Macpherson latex jumpsuit I could just pop on and save time.
I have seen this stuff in department stores. I usually stand about 3 metres away and pretend I'm not looking at it, whilst secretly trying to check it out and wondering if there is a free crowbar thrown in for ease of applying. I mean, is breathing still possible in this stuff? Do you have a little oxygen tank stitched in, somewhere discreet? I don't want to go all Victorian and faint delicately in the playground whilst picking up the kids. Though looking as hot as I would perhaps some handsome dad might offer to resusitate me?...No, look it just isn't worth being uncomfortable. And uncomfortable was how I was feeling about checking this gear out.
So I decided to start small with one thing and work my way up as I got more comfortable about it all (read: less chicken) Speaking of chicken what I decided was to check out the things that are called 'Chicken fillets'. You know, they go in your bra and either give you a bust or else reinflate what you have left after kids, goddam it. So there I am in the shop and I'm staring at this gear on the wall, thinking, how about I try and be funny and ask whether they have those in a 'soy' as I'm a vego, when someone terrified me by saying "May I help you?"
I was shocked into saying, "Err, yes, I was wondering about those." Honestly, I felt like I was asking for something naughty from under the counter! And of course you're trying to be cool as well as an ass, so it's quite hard work. Anyway, lets just say, before I knew what was happening I was stuffed into a cubicle by a pert twenty-something and handed a few bra's which have this little fillets in them in a little pocket. No room for car keys and loose change though. Now, I have never had a bra fitted. Well, maybe when I was 14 but the incident was so humiliating that I have blocked it from my mind and cement rendered over the top. Anyway, it turns out I have been wearing the wrong sizes. I tried on everything at 100 miles an hour so the girl wouldn't see me with my anatomy flung askew.That curtain had never been shut so well or so fast! In the end I have to say it was a good experience. The girl was really very nice, very discreet and non-invasive and I have to say that the bras I bought, though I had no such intention to purchese when I entered the shop, are great.
Being in a daze, I was coerced into buying matching knickers, which when I got home and tried on, do all the wrong things but look really impressive in my drawer with the Best and Less stuff shoved to the side. So there you go, not such a painful experience at all if you haven't already done it, go get fitted at a speciality shop: the girls are helpful and have the best poker faces in the industry- just don't get sucked into the overpriced dodgy knickers.

Travelwear

I've been away and apologise if you've been standing there with your colour chart and body shape chart, all keen and fired up for the next step. Unfortunately, I can't put you out of your misery today either as I have so much to do but I would like to say a few things about clothes and travelling that I think is vital, lest you too do yourself an injury as i most certainly did. Repeatedly.
I was very pleased with myself when I packed for my holiday. For once my clothes all sort of matched and were flattering in shape and colour. What a fashion plate I would be. Alas, my plans began to unravel one hour into my flight when I sensed my lower body was not receiving sufficient blood supply due to my lovely jeans never having been designed for actual long-lasting comfort. This was a pattern for the whole holiday. I'd sit down and my thighs etc, were clamped in a vice. I had all nice clothes but it was mostly unsuitable for what we got up to. For instance, there I was, a calf sucking on my hand at a petting farm in my nice tailored jacket, covered in Alpaca wool fluff, mixed animal manure on my lovely boots. The cute animals all tried to eat my scarf and the tassels on my handbag.
The friends we stayed with were casual dressers so I never needed my going-out-for- dinner ballgown that I packed. Since I took 95% of the photo's I was barely in any so my coordinating gear will never be seen. But imagine I looked very nice. But if you looked closely you would have seen the pain in my eyes from my strangling clothes far-outdoing any pleasure I felt from looking nice. Just not worth it! Every afternoon when we got back I would throw on tights and a loose jumper, the only thing I had with me that was comfortable. Our hosts, who worked in the day, politely never mentioned that I was in the same outfit every time they saw me!
So, conclusion: It is great to look nice but comfort is more important. If you have to suck in a gut, or the clothes leave marks on your skin or raise your blood pressure this is no good. Prioritise comfort as you will need your body in one piece for some time yet!

Session 2- Colour Analysis

I really think colour analysis is a helpful thing but be aware that the word analysis has got a smaller word in it that could describe you if you take it all too seriously. From what I have researched it seems to be merely a helpful guide. This time I did not use a book but simply Googled 'colour analysis'. One helpful and easy site was collegefashion.net. It has a simple chart you can work your way through to discover your colour and then all the details you may want on it (complete with cute little swatch spots). This site still uses the idea of breaking everyone up into seasons. Apparently this is not always used nowadays but I like it.As a loose guide,if you are caucasian you are likely to be a Spring or Autumn. If you are Asian,Latino or African you will be a Winter or Summer. If you are from off-planet I'm not really sure.
The chart gets you to use your eye, hair and skin colours as a guide to find your season. As I change my hair colour regularly this caused a little confusion, but I still ended up as a Spring. As my hair is normally dark ash blonde (I think. Haven't seen it for some time),my eyes are green and my skin a golden beige, I would be a light spring. But since my hair is an amber/caramel colour at the mo I would, instead be a Warm Spring. Alrighty then!
Based on what I found, I see that some of my favourite colours are recommended for me. There are also colours in my swatch I just don't like, and I wouldn't wear them but if I am still left with 10 flattering colours,I am happy. This means when I go clothes shopping I can first look at styles that suit my body shape and can now narrow it down to those only in my best colours. I may have narrowed it down to only a quarter of any shop, but I feel confident that I can save time and money buying only things that actually make me look better. Now theres and idea!